It's a material world, but…
SHARIKA MUTHU

"You know that we are living in a material world And I am a material girl "

(From the song Material Girl , written by Peter Brown and Robert Rans; sung by Madonna)

When Madonna sang these lines, she must have touched a chord in a lot of people who heard it. And why not?

Aren’t we all living in a ‘material’ world? A world full of materialistic people with material needs and material aspirations?

Let’s be truthful; how many of us have looked askance at our neighbour’s new car and turned green with envy? Haven’t we heard the news of our colleague’s great new job with a tinge of jealousy?

Don’t we sometimes catch ourselves wondering how our ‘middle-class’ friends manage to go on a foreign holiday every other year?

And the big one – don’t we vehemently believe that if our colleague / friend / neighbour can have a new car / job / holiday, then WE deserve it all the more for some reason best known to us?

And if THEY have it, they’ve probably taken a short cut, and if WE get it, it’ll only be something richly deserved.

If I don’t aspire, I stagnate, right?

Now, I am not suggesting that you should go on a guilt trip just because you’ve read these lines. Not at all. We’re human and when we see something we don’t have, we want it. Simple.

Call it human psychology, built into our systems, embedded in our DNA, whatever. We cannot escape it. Just as a child cries for a bright new toy, we adults cry for that new job, big car, exotic holiday, more money...

Even Rishi Vatsyayana, the author of the world-famous Kama Sutra , acknowledged that the quest of pleasure and happiness is the root of all human actions. After all, if human beings are to live a life of acceptable standards, it is only natural that they will pursue material comforts.

In fact, in today’s fast-paced, stressed-out world, comforts are actually necessities. A comfortable house; a car to take you around; a job that you enjoy and make enough out of; a holiday now and then to help you feel better. What’s wrong with that?

After all, if we are sweating it out day in and day out to make needs meet, where’s the harm in wishing for a better life for ourselves and our children?

No harm at all. However, the harm lies in letting our aspirations take over our lives to such an extent that our peace of mind is compromised. The harm does not lie in thinking that we deserve something and that we should have it; the harm lies in sulking over someone else’s success in the belief that we deserved it more than they

Solutions, anyone?

So what’s to be done about that? Humans will be humans and will not stop aspiring. Okay, all right, some people are satisfied with whatever they have and are not really ambitious in the ‘wordly’ sense of the term.

But what about the rest of us – the normal, early-rising, hard-working variety, slogging at 9 to 5 jobs with an eye on the stars?

There lies the crux of the matter. The key to fulfilling your ambitions is to take a totally positive view of the whole thing.

That means not letting your-self be distressed by others’ success and to avoid being distracted by feelings of jealousy or helplessness.

If you want something, go get it. It is perfectly alright to want more, as long as you are willing to put in the hard work and the time to achieve your goals.

However, the golden rule is that once you have decided on a specific goal, keep that in sight, but do not be obsessed with it.




I’m not obsessed, I’m focussed!

Here, it is important not to confuse obsession with focus. Be focussed by all means; but do not let the goal take over your life. Remember that while your material goals are important, your personal relationships are even more so. The former must not be pursued at the cost of the latter.

Another important thing is not to be too worried about the amount of time you are taking to achieve a goal. Of course, it is essential to have a time-frame in mind and to say things like: “I am going to buy a car when I am 30” or “I will write my first book before I am 40.”

Man, you’re only human!
However, do remember that you are only human and if it’s taking you a few months or even a few years longer to buy that first car or write that first book, there is no need to get suicidal about it!

You have not missed the bus! No one can take away the reward of your hard work. It may come a little late, but it WILL come.

If your priorities are clear, you have the capacity for hard work and the ability to focus on your goals, there is no reason why you cannot achieve your goals.

As Kenny Rogers says: “Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” Only remember never to trade happiness for materialism. It is possible to have both - if you know what you are doing and where you are going.

Thank You,
Mayur Dave
Ahmedabad, Gujarat, INDIA.