Few months back, the day before Navdurga (Nine days of Durga) I was lying on the roof under the beautiful sky. The waning moon was only decorative and the stars provided the ambient light. I was just taking in the moment when I felt a tremor so faint, that I would have attributed it to my imagination.

All of sudden I started to find out the answer about my life. I was born and brought up in kaliyuga, but in the Goswami family. Everything is so materialistic, God gave me the name and fame where I have no choice to leave devotion and be materialistic.

Internally my material and devotional life make my present life so complicated.

Actually, I was feeling a lack of bhakti in me. My mind and heart were not purely supportive in the worship of God.

The question of how to get bhakti again and how to reach that bhakti level where you go to another world was making me miserable. I went to my mother to discuss my problem. She replied to me a sweet way. Take this mantra and chant it during Nav Durga and your problem would be solved.

Only nine days, one round of japa. So easy! I gave my promise and started chanting. When you start something good, bad powers stop you and God takes your exam. After a couple of days I got so damm tired by japa, so the next day I quit and broke my promise.

The next morning when I woke up, I felt like a loser. I jumped in the bathroom, took a shower and on the second moment I was in front of my Lord asking HIM to forgive me. After finishing the Navdurga, I did not feel any bhakti in me so I started to feel ashamed on myself. Because of my laziness I lost the biggest opportunity. I went to my Lord and ask HIM to give me one more chance.

Few days later, magically I became enthusiastic for worship. I was feeling power in me. I took a decision and spoke to my parents, “I am planning to do 111 rounds of japa everyday for 21 days in kartik.”

This meant that for 21 days I had to give a minimum 10 hrs and I had to cut the contact from material world. My parents became so happy to see the big change in me but were also unhappy as I would not be able to do their work.

After I convinced them, from the very first day of Kartik I started my japa. I told GOD I need your blessings to follow my promise. So smoothly I achieved my goal which was expected. My family was shocked after seeing that and I was so happy. I was feeling like I passed my class and came in upper class. In between of my happiness one Goswami came to my home. He told to my father that he wants to give his turn of worship to Chandan. Father called me and he said, “Chandan! You are going to get the fruit of your puja.”

Oh My God! I’m getting first chance to serve HIM during kartik.

I am going to see HIM on Gopastami, one of my biggest wishes was coming true. I never had seen HIM in Cowherd boy dress & make up. Since birth I somehow always missed Gopastami. Wow! I replied in an agreed way.

Wow! My innermost desire to see Him in that make up is going to be completed
Oh Lord! The day is here. I am not getting darshan. Today, I am fortunate to do HIS make up. What a colorful blessing. Such a sweet gift. He made me cry so much. I got the ever sweetest blessing by HIM. He made my day so memorable.

Still sometimes when I recall those moments, my heart gets mellow, and my eyes get tears and I bow on those lotus feet by my heart who gave me such good Shelter. :.)